Well it's been an up-and-down couple of days.
I'm just not feeling myself right now. There are words inside but they just don't want to come out.
It's just one bad thing after another. Can't go into it, don't want to go into it.
You know, being a happy jokey, walking, talking, jumping, smirking, laughing dancing chancing guy I find it frustrating when i just want a few quiet moments. If i'm not joking in a meeting, or not shouting my mouth off when out then people think something is wrong. 9 times out of 10 they probably are right.
Saw this poster on a bus shelter last night:
The fact is, I AM tired of putting on that same brave face. There's no cancer involved here, but that really sums it all up right now. I love my job but it's boring sometimes, there's not enough hours, not enough money, I want to get out, I'm going to get tied down. I need to escape. The more I escape the more I realise that I actually want to be there. My mates at home are good. I love them, I respect them, I enjoy going out, having a laugh, blah blah blah, but I need to escape the town, the house, the way of boring life. Not that Leeds wouldn't have its boring bits, but it'd be a new start, a fresh beginning.
Depression is an over-used condition, though sometimes I do get depressed. I haven't felt this bad in a while. There's no 'pulling yourself together'...that just ain't working right now. Probably doesn't help that i'm skint, overweight, underpaid, no car, stuck.
I suppose i should ride out the storm and see where I go!
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